really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
