I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
time to smoke my breakfast
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
