I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
