Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
