How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
