You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
