You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
