Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
