wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Sacagawea was the original milf.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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