I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
