Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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