i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I take back everything I said about communal showers
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
