Who wears a wallet chain?!
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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