if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He felt like a one man threesome
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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