Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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