if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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