i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
