I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
