At least make sure they are 18
Why
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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