There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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