it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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