She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
