i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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