apparently the secret to your success is patron
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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