tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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