Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
