I bet he comes in French.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
