just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
