..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
please don't ironically join a cult
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