you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
