Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
