He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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