You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
