I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
