So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
