Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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