Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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