She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
