I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
