Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
wow bdsm is so cute
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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