Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
