i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
