I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
