I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
