3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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