y did u give ur computer a hand job?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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