Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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