so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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