There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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