seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
