I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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