I accidentally had phone sex last night
This is the prime rib incident all over again
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
